2 1/2 cups buttermilk or sour milk (We used buttermilk.)
4 Tbs shortening (We used coconut oil and believe this added to the excellent flavor of these pancakes.)
2 1/2 cups flour
2 tsp sugar
2 tsp baking powder
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp salt
1 cup cooked quinoa
Beat eggs well.
Add rest of ingredients and beat.
Fry on a hot griddle.
(Makes about thirty four-inch pancakes — or, in our case, about twenty five-inch cakes)
NEW YORK—Calling the inhumane treatment a disgrace to the MLB and all of its consumers, a disturbing new report released Thursday by Sporting News revealed the cruel, disgusting conditions for prospects kept in the MLB farm system.
“Our investigation found that these young, helpless prospects are often forced to live in cheap motel rooms containing only a hard, moldy bed while working out in dingy gyms choked with the fetid stench of sweat and gatorade,” said report author Stephanie Bisson, who noted that prospects are often shuttled between rundown southern ballparks in cramped, overcrowded motorcoaches.
“These players should be given the room to grow into major leaguers, but instead they are forced into horrific assembly-line conditions that break their spirits and oftentimes lead to horrific injuries. Pitchers, outfielders, and catchers alike are essentially being tortured as they wait around to one day be cut and discarded.”
The damning report added that the horrible conditions may also increase aggressiveness among players and lead to violent, bench-clearing brawls.
— from The Onion, August 31, 2017
PARAMUS, NJ—Saying they were still struggling to process what just happened, Game of Thrones viewers were reportedly reeling Sunday after the show’s season finale unexpectedly killed off a fan. “Holy frog, they decapitated some guy named Spencer Davenport from Dayton, Ohio,” said local woman Gaby Green of the brutally slain marketing specialist, whose bloody death in the final minute of the series’ gripping seventh season blindsided viewers across the country. “I should be ready for shocking deaths by now, but my jaw still dropped when I saw that sword slice right through Spencer’s neck and his head crash to the floor of his studio apartment. I mean, Jesus. Well, at least it wasn’t Tyrion.” At press time, millions of viewers said they couldn’t wait for the eighth and final season of Game of Thrones to find out if they themselves lived through the series’ very last episode.
— from The Onion, August 27, 2017
Next-Level Gaming: The New ‘Call Of Duty’ Will Penalize Players For Shooting Nazis Who Are Actually Very Fine People
We thought we couldn’t be any more excited for Call Of Duty: WWII. Oh, how wrong we were!
Details are still trickling out about the upcoming installment in the Call Of Duty franchise, but some new info shows just how committed Activision is to giving players a truly next-level gaming experience. Today we learned that this new entry won’t just offer gamers pulse-pounding combat in a historically accurate World War II setting; it will go even further by penalizing players for shooting Nazis who are actually very fine people!
Um, can we play this game now, please?
The new “Nazi Sense” mechanic adds a whole new gameplay dimension on top of Call Of Duty: WWII’s already intense firefights. Instead of just blasting away at every enemy soldier, players will have to consider whether each individual Nazi might be an otherwise decent person who just happens to be fighting alongside some real bad apples. Shoot a Nazi who’s actually a pillar of his community and is proud of his heritage and you’ll take a blow to your health or ammo. Shoot too many decent, hardworking Nazis, and you’ll have to start over from the last checkpoint.
For hardcore Call Of Duty fans and newbies alike, this development will definitely make playing through battles like the Normandy invasion and the Battle of the Bulge even more exciting than before. With their identical uniforms, similar shouted slogans, and almost indistinguishable behavior, gamers will have to push their skills to the limit to pick out the regular-Joe Nazis from the actually evil Nazis they’re supposed to shoot. But for true completists, it will be worth it when they unlock the “Just War” achievement for beating the game without shooting a single Nazi who, in fact, doesn’t agree on absolutely everything with his comrades!
Nazi Sense brings new strategic elements to the mix, too. When Nazis who are shooting at you because they’re driven by hateful, anti-Semitic ideology are standing side by side with Nazis who are shooting at you because they’re upstanding citizens who just want to return Germany to its former glory, you might have to think twice before tossing that grenade. Clearly, this is the shot in the arm that the Call Of Duty franchise needed!
Call Of Duty: WWII doesn’t come out until November, but if this is the kind of innovation that Activision’s bringing to the table, it can’t come soon enough.
— from The Onion, August 17, 2017